This listing is for a 2021 Ford Bronco First Edition. This Bronco was originally scheduled to be built on the week of August 16th it is now moved to a new scheduled build day of September 19th. Ford has been great inproviding updates and details on any delays and such. I suspect no more late changes as my dealer has confirmed with fird.I will be updating the listing if anything new comes up between now and end of listing. Once I receive the Bronco I will pay cash for the vehicle so I will have tittle on hand. The Bronco will be considered used on the technicality that i will be the 1st registered owner. Myfriends, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a fiveoclock shadow, this Bronco would look like Tom Selleck.
No my friend, thats what your 40 MPG ToyotaPrius is for. So, if thats the kind of vehicle youre looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading this right now. Really, I mean it; just stop, this Bronco may scare the smile of your face. For the rest of you, here is little teaser. This Bronco was engineered by crocodile hunting, logging, moonshining, turtle catching rednecks in the deepest trailer parks of the U.It was put together to serve the needs of men that cheat death on a daily basis. They didnt even consider superfluous pansy boy amenities, like soft close doors (real men slam doors and then they open and slam again just to be certain), cooled seats (real men dont allow anything to cool their toosh), heated steering wheel (real men freeze their knuckles), or On Star (real men dont even know what the hell On Staris). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 315 HP turbocharged engine to outrun the paparazzi. Its got special blood/gore resistant leather upholstery. It even has a first-aidkit in the back. Whats in the firsts aid kit? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a tough leather patch to bite down when youre operating on yourself. This Bronco comes with an eight-speedautomatic transmission so you can concentrate on more important obstacles onthe trail. My price on this bad boy you ask? Well, its so low I'm embarrassed to say, but Ill entertain reasonable offers. Thats liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick followedup with a three fingered eye-jab and a well-deserved can of whoop-ass.
Lets just say you wont be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay or New Kids on The Block concert. So, if you want to stay pretty, then keep it real. This Bronco has room for you and the five hotties; you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes.Theres only 16 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me; it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to yourmachismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If its a rugged, no holdsbarred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with the ladies.
But have not fear, Ill get back to you, and when I do! Well, well talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while smoking a Cuban as we listen to Johnny Cash. Go to the closet and look for her purse. Make sure you look for the one that she only uses on special occasions.
You know which one it is. Reach in with your hand and go deep, I mean, gooooooo deep till you reach bottom.Probe around, make take some time but you feel two round nuggets about the size of your fists, grab them tight andpull them out quickly Those are your NUTS man. Then drive back and park it in the garage. Sneak back to the closet and put back the nuggets so the old lady doesn't find out they were ever missing. And if that doesnt work, it's always better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Because real men dontask for permission!!! To sweeten the deal a little, Ill throw in a pair of leatherZ-Cavaricci pants for Mr. Yeah, you heard me right. You remember styling them back in the days. You be cracking a smile as we speak. Hell, you might aswell go to public storage and dust off theold Penny Loafers and sport them bad boys, and dont forget to put the pennies and no socks. BTW, Im not throwing inno free Z-Cavaricci pants.
Just in case this is a deal breaker for you. As most of you know, all First Editions come fully loaded, and include the exclusive First Edition badge for easy identification.This Bronco will come in cyber orange with the LeatherTrimmed Black Onyx Interior. The miles on the vehicle will only be the miles associated with the distance between the dealer and my home. Once I receive the Bronco I will pay cash so I will have tittle on hand.
The Bronco will be considered used on the technicality that i will be the 1stregistered owner. If you haven't decided on the color you like. The item "2021 Ford Bronco FIRST EDITION" is in sale since Saturday, August 28, 2021. This item is in the category "eBay Motors\Cars & Trucks\Ford\Bronco". The seller is "compunetexpress" and is located in Miami, Florida.This item can be shipped to United States.